Love, Money, and a 50/50 Split: How This Lagos Couple Makes It Work

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💕 VALENTINE'S SPECIAL 💕

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What happens when two ambitious Nigerians decide to split everything down the middle rent, NEPA bills, even Valentine's dinner? For Chioma, 31, a product manager, and Tunde, 33, a senior software engineer, going 50/50 isn't just about fairness it's about building wealth together while maintaining individual financial freedom. In a culture where "the man should provide" still echoes loudly, their approach raises eyebrows at family gatherings. But as they'll tell you, it's working. Let's unpack how this couple navigates love, money, and the occasional argument about who spent more on groceries.

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How did you two meet, and when did money conversations first come up?

Chioma: We met at a tech conference in 2021. I was speaking on a panel, and he slid into my DMs afterward with some work-related question. [laughs] Very professional, sha.

Tunde: It was a legitimate question! But yeah, we started talking, and by our third date, we were already discussing investment strategies. I remember thinking, "This woman gets it."

Chioma: Money talk came early because we were both intentional about our futures. I wasn't trying to waste time with someone whose financial values didn't align with mine. By date five, we'd already discussed our NYSC savings stories, our portfolios, and our thoughts on marriage and finances.

Tunde: I appreciated that. No games. Just real talk about what we wanted.

So, who brought up the idea of splitting finances 50/50?

Chioma: It was actually organic. When we decided to move in together before getting engaged which, let me tell you, caused plenty drama with both our families we sat down to discuss how we'd handle bills.

Tunde: I offered to cover everything initially, you know, traditional mindset and all. But she looked at me like I'd grown two heads.

Chioma: [laughing] I was like, "Oga, I earn good money. Why would I sit down and let you carry all the burden?" It didn't make sense to me. We both benefit from the apartment, generator fuel, data, Pay TV subscription, and the cooking gas. Why should one person shoulder it all?

Tunde: At first, I was uncomfortable. My guy friends were already asking me, "Bros, wetin you dey do? Na you suppose carry am." But Chioma broke it down for me. She said, "If you pay everything now, how are we supposed to maximise on our earnings together?"

Chioma: Exactly! And I wanted to invest aggressively. If I wasn't contributing to household expenses, I'd feel guilty investing while you're stretched thin. This way, we both contribute equally, and we both have money left over to invest, save, or spend as we wish.

 

Walk us through your typical monthly split. How does it actually work?

Tunde: We have a joint account where we each contribute ₦500,000 monthly. That covers rent, food, utilities, fuel, subscriptions, and basically all shared expenses.

Chioma: It took us a few months to figure out the right amount. Initially, we were doing ₦300,000 each, but with fuel prices and inflation, we kept having to top up. So we increased it to ₦800,000 and built in a buffer.

Tunde: Whatever remains in that account by month-end stays there and builds up our emergency fund. Last year, we had a plumbing emergency that cost ₦180,000. Didn't stress us because the joint account had enough.

Chioma: Personal expenses, my hair, his gym membership, night outs with our separate friend groups, and gadgets, we handle from our individual accounts. No questions asked.

Tunde: That's key. I don't monitor how she spends her money, and she doesn't check mine. Full transparency enables us to trust each other.

 

What about investments? Do you invest together or separately?

Chioma: Separately. We have our individual portfolios. I'm heavier on mutual funds and dollar investments through InvestNaija. I have about ₦3.5 million spread across the Paramount Fund, Nigeria Dollar Income Fund and the Money Market Fund.

Tunde: I'm more into equities. I bought heavily into MTN during the dip last year, and I have positions in Nestle and Seplat. My portfolio is sitting around ₦5.8 million now, including some tech stocks on the NASDAQ that I got through my company's equity program.

Chioma: We share insights and sometimes compare returns, but we make independent decisions. It's actually healthy competition. When his stocks surge, I'm like, "Okay, let me research that sector."

Tunde: [grinning] And when her mutual funds outperform my picks during a down market, I hear about it.

 

Chioma, what's the most common reaction you get when people find out about your 50/50 arrangement?

Chioma: [sighs] Oh, plenty criticism. Especially from older women. "Are you not planning to be a kept wife? Why are you splitting bills with your future husband like he's your roommate?" Or my personal favorite: "You're doing too much. A man should provide."

My own mother called me once and said, "Chioma, I didn't raise you to be sponsoring a man." I had to explain to her that Tunde earns more than I do, so if anything, technically, I'm benefiting from the arrangement. But that logic doesn't compute for some people.

Tunde: Some of my friends used to roast me. "Ah ah, Tunde, your babe dey contribute for house? You don carry your load put for woman head." I just ignored them initially, but eventually I had to set them straight.

I asked one guy, "If your wife earns ₦800,000 a month and you're carrying all the bills alone while she's just buying shoes, how are you both building wealth together?" He went quiet. Because when you think about it, it doesn't make sense for one person to be financially drained while the other person's account is just piling up or, even worse, getting squandered.

 

Have you ever had major disagreements about money?

Tunde: Oh yes. [both laugh] We had a big one about six months after we started the 50/50 system.

Chioma: Ehn, it was about my sister's wedding contribution. My family was asking me to contribute ₦700,000 for her aso-ebi, small chops, and other things. I was ready to pay from my personal account, but it would have drained my emergency savings.

Tunde: I offered to cover it, but Chioma took it as me saying she couldn't handle it.

Chioma: Because the way he said it sounded condescending! Like, "Don't worry, I'll take care of it." As if I was broke or something. I snapped at him. "I have my own money, thank you very much."

Tunde: [defensive] I was just trying to help!

Chioma: I know, babe. But in that moment, it felt like you were trying to "rescue" me, and I didn't need rescuing. We argued for like two days.

Tunde: Eventually, we compromised. We took ₦350,000 each from our personal accounts to make the ₦700,000. That way, we both contributed, and neither of us was financially strained.

Chioma: It was actually a good solution. And it made me realise that asking for help doesn't make me less independent. Partnership means supporting each other.

 

What about gifts? Do you split the cost of Valentine's Day dinner too?

Tunde: [laughing] Ah, no o! Valentine's Day is my full responsibility. I handle the restaurant, the gifts, everything.

Chioma: And I appreciate it. But here's what people don't understand: because we split regular expenses, when Tunde does something special like plan a surprise staycation or buy me jewelry, it actually feels special. I'm not thinking, "Well, he better do this since I don't pay bills."

Tunde: Exactly. When I gift her something, it's because I want to, not because I'm obligated to or because she has no money of her own.

Chioma: And I do the same for him. Last year for his birthday, I surprised him with a weekend trip to Zanzibar and a new gaming console. I could do it comfortably because my finances were in order.

 

What's the smartest financial move you've made as a couple?

Chioma: Starting the joint account system early. It forced us to have honest money conversations before resentment could build.

Tunde: And investing separately but aggressively. We both have individual nest eggs growing. If something happens—God forbid—we're not financially tied in a way that would destroy us. We're together because we want to be, not because we're financially trapped.

Chioma: Also, we set up a "future goals" plan last year. We each contribute ₦1 milllion monthly. That money is earmarked for buying a 3-bedroom flat along the Lekki Ajah axis.

Tunde: So far, we've saved ₦12 million in that account. The goal is to let our contributions compound to a sum of ₦70 million in the next few years to buy the flat outright or have a sizeable downpayment.

 

What about when kids come? Will you still do 50/50?

Chioma: We've talked about this extensively. When we have children, we'll adjust. Childcare costs will go into the joint account, and we'll split them. But if I decide to take extended maternity leave and my income drops, Tunde will cover more.

Tunde: It's about being flexible. The 50/50 works now because we're both earning similar amounts and have similar responsibilities. But we're not rigid about it. The principle is fairness and partnership, not a strict mathematical split forever.

Chioma: Exactly. If his salary suddenly doubles because of a promotion, I'm not going to insist on matching his ₦500,000 contribution if it stretches me. We'll adjust to something like 60/40 or 70/30. The point is that we're both contributing proportionally to what we can afford.

 

Do you ever feel like your arrangement is… unusual? Does it bother you?

Chioma: Yes, it's unusual by Nigerian standards. Most couples I know operate where the man pays everything (or is expected to), or the woman "supports" with small contributions here and there. But does it bother me? Not at all. I actually feel empowered.

I'm not sitting around waiting for my husband to give me money for my personal needs. I have my own. That security is priceless. I'm in this relationship because I love this man, not because I need him to survive financially.

Tunde: For me, it used to bother me. I felt like I wasn't "man enough" because I wasn't carrying everything. But as I've matured, I realise that's just societal programming. Real manhood isn't about financial domination. It's about partnership, respect, and building something together.

Chioma: And honestly, we're building wealth faster this way. If Tunde was paying all the bills, he wouldn't be investing monthly like he does now. And I wouldn't have been able to aggressively buy into mutual funds. We're both growing our individual net worths while building a shared future.

 

Any advice for couples struggling with money conversations?

Tunde: Start early. Don't wait until you're married or living together to discuss money. Talk about your philosophies, your goals, your fears. Know what you're getting into.

Chioma: And be honest about what you earn and what you owe. Tunde knew about my student loan before we moved in together. I knew about his car loan. No surprises.

Tunde: Also, find a system that works for you, not what your parents did or what society expects. Every couple is different.

Chioma: And please, communicate! When I'm stressed about money, I tell him. When he wants to make a big purchase, he mentions it. We don't hide things.

Tunde: Most importantly, money should bring you together, not tear you apart. If your money arrangement is causing constant fights, something needs to change.

Final question: What does financial freedom look like for you two?

Chioma: For me, it's waking up and not checking my bank balance with anxiety. It's knowing that if I want to fly to Cape Town for the weekend or buy my mom a new fridge, I can do it without stress. It's investment returns that eventually cover my lifestyle, so I'm not working just to survive.

Tunde: I want to retire at 50. Not because I hate working, but because I want the option to do only what I enjoy. I want to work on passion projects, maybe build software for fun, travel with Chioma, and not worry about money. Our investments and rental income should cover us by then.

Chioma: And we want to leave something for our future kids. Not spoil them o, but give them a head start we didn't have. Maybe fully funded education, land, investment portfolios. So they can start their adult lives without the financial stress we faced.

Tunde: Together, we're building that. Fifty-fifty.

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