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What do you do when family owes you money, but peace of mind costs more? For this 26yr old investment banker, Emmanuel, the answer is clear: forgive, set boundaries, and keep investing. Let’s break down how he’s turning ₦500K monthly into real wealth.
What was your first memory of money ? Did you grow up in a family that talked about money or investing, or did you figure it out on your own?
We focused more on family and values growing up. Money wasn’t a central topic, and investing was hardly discussed. I wish we had more conversations around financial literacy early on. But I also believe that what your parents didn’t do for you, you can do for your own kids. So, I’m learning, unlearning, and aiming to build that awareness for the future generation.
Do you think money is more emotional or logical for most Nigerians? What about for you?
Money is deeply emotional for most Nigerians, and I think that stems from the realities of our environment. Scarcity, societal pressure, and the need to show “progress” fuel emotional spending. People often tie their sense of worth to what they can afford or display. Personally, I’ve learned to take a more balanced approach. While I do feel emotional connections to money especially when it involves family or sacrifices I try to make decisions from a place of logic, sustainability, and long-term value.
Do you ever feel pressure to “flex” or keep up with a certain lifestyle?
Yes, sometimes. The pressure to "flex" is real, especially in a culture that often equates appearance with success. Social media adds to that, where everyone seems to be living their best life. But I’ve come to realise that peace of mind beats impressing people. It’s not easy, but I remind myself often that true wealth is in contentment and smart choices, not just the optics.
Whats a money/financial dilema you’re currently going through or you’ve been through? Whether its an unpaid loan from a friend, poor investment choice and its impact, rising rent cost etc.
A few family members owe me money, and they haven’t paid it back. I lent it out from a place of love and trust, but over time, it’s caused some internal conflict. I’ve been contemplating canceling the debt not because I no longer value the money, but because I’ve realized that holding on to the expectation is draining. Forgiving the debt doesn’t make me weak. It means I’m choosing peace of mind. That said, I’ve learned a hard lesson about boundaries. Going forward, I’ll think twice before mixing emotions with financial support. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about being wise. And I now understand that helping someone doesn’t always have to involve money sometimes guidance or support in other forms is more impactful and less damaging to relationships.
Can you share the situation that led you to consider canceling a debt and Do you think family and money can ever truly mix smoothly?
The situation that led me to consider canceling a family debt came after multiple reminders and awkward conversations that went nowhere. It became clear that the money wasn’t coming back, and worse, it was beginning to affect how I viewed the relationship. That’s when I knew I had to let go not just of the money, but of the emotional toll it was taking. I don’t think money and family always mix smoothly. There’s love, guilt, and expectation all rolled into one, and that complicates things. But I do believe it can work if there’s clear communication, agreed timelines, and mutual respect. It’s just that many of us don’t set those boundaries from the start. We assume family equals trust, but even trust benefits from clarity. So now, if I must support, it’s either a gift I don’t expect back, or a loan with terms nothing in-between.
What’s your golden rule when it comes to money and peace of mind?
Money is a tool to live life, but it should never become the point of life. I strive to be intentional with my finances plan, save, and invest but not obsess. If money starts to steal your joy or sleep, then it’s time to reset and re-evaluate. Peace of mind is priceless.
CHD Expert Opinion
You're off to a great start! You are disciplined with your savings, have a clear investment structure, and exhibit emotional intelligence around money.
That said, your portfolio could benefit from better diversification. At 26, your long-term investment horizon allows for more growth-focused (“riskier”) assets. Your allocation to money market funds and fixed deposits seems rather high. You should consider increasing your allocation to equities, while also adding dollar-denominated assets for inflation hedging.
And remember, you’re not a bank and you can’t solve everyone’s financial problems. So be mindful of the “black tax” before it derails your long-term financial freedom.
💬 Do YOU have a money story worth sharing?
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